ProlegomenaPosted: November 1, 2017
It was fun, I guess, to go through this blog’s archive. In March of 2016–really, April 1, I was going to begin a two year project–called Project 729 for the number of days in said project–of self-improvement. I had plans to get in outstanding shape, become an expert in numerous fields, get my life not only together but to the absolute pinnacle of existence. I made some goals I wanted to keep, and I made some goals I thought would be interesting to readers. I then let it all slide, because I slid into a pretty solid depression.
Well, that’s not fair. When I fall into depression, it’s a slow burn. A descent of half a degree over a long period. I stopped blogging when I hit bottom, about September of 2016. It was then, too, that I began taking anti-depressants, promising myself and the people I love that this time, I would never go off them. Because of that, some major things in my life changed–I ended a relationship, I let go of some inhibitions and fears about my job and my community, I found my way back on stage, I finished a massive project, and I unexpectedly began a new relationship.
I have left Addison, and I now live in Cedar Hill–for non-DFW folks, that’s from north of Dallas to southwest of it. (My commute, on good days, takes forty minutes. And I’m okay with that.) I am all right. In fact, I think I’m doing more than all right.
I have passed the five-year mark at the church I serve. I have forty-one days of non-smoking behind me–which I believed truly and utterly to be impossible. I am in a life-giving relationship that is exciting and meaningful. I am at a point in my life where I can change if I want to change; I can change how I’m called to change; I can become something more.
This time around–yes, it’s another big long project with sub-projects–it’s not about being less-worse. The goals aren’t about escaping the life that is; this time, I want to live most fully into the life that is happening. I’ll be writing more about these as I want to. Yes, I categorized them again. No, I’m not ashamed of that.