It’s interesting how much we are creatures of habit, and how to change habit, one must be consistently vigilant until that vigilance becomes ingrained.
This isn’t vague posting–at least, I don’t think it is. This is not passive-aggressively avoiding yet targeting a specific person or institution or idea. I realized in the last few days the creeping slide into old habits, and thankfully, some people I love have graciously and firmly helped me see what I would not.
I’ve re-examined and changed some behaviors. I’ve strengthened my resolve, and in the case of exercising, I’ve shifted the motivation. I hate to say it, but if I was going to go to the gym because I like the way it makes me feel, or because I enjoy navigating a locker room at any time of day with any number of people in it, I would be doing so by now. If I am going to vent off emotional energy that keeps me up at night? If exercise becomes an act of spiritual maintenance and psychological resilience? Sign me up. At least, in theory.
This is a non-post, but it’s also a post, which is different from all of the not-posting I’ve been doing. Speaking of habits and resilience and making change.