course correction

And here’s the deal, dear ones who may or not be reading this now, or in the future: this is a slow season for me right now. Many of us, surely. We’re coming up on a year in quarantine because we’ve politicized science in our country–it’s taken a toll on my motivation to do more by being less. (Or is it being more by doing less?) It’s freezing cold outside–Kansas winters are not a joke! We had a very mild one last year, and it was my only experience thus far. I’m not walking in three degree weather. And honestly, I got knocked off my groove a little, and I’m trying to find it again. I will. I always do. But right now there’s foster parent stuff and doctor of ministry stuff and Lent stuff… I beat myself up every week because I don’t post three times as planned, but there’s a truth I have to grant myself:

It’s kind of funny–I beat myself up for not meeting priorities and goals I thought would be interesting to try but ultimately aren’t to be. Like last year, I finally concluded my attempts to write fiction. I have never been a prolific fiction writer; I putter around as a playwright. I make more books than I write… or I used to. But I had this idea that I’d write three short stories and blah, blah, blah. In April, I looked around, and gave myself permission to not do something I had no passion for. I’m finite, being lesser. It’s okay to let things go.

And I’m not giving up on this blog. I also do not want to create posts for the sake of creating posts–I feel like that’s a waste of my time and disrespectful to anyone who will read it.

I guess I’m writing out for my own benefit: it’s okay to do a handful of posts a month. Arthur, stop telling yourself you have to meet a performance standard only you hold for yourself, for no reason other than you believe you should. Go do something you love. Come back to this, it will still be here.

january 2021 wrap-up

by the numbers…

  • nine books read
  • fifteen days with bible study
  • just under seven, on average, for hydration
  • thirty days in conversation with hafiz
  • thirty days with psalms
  • seven vigils prayed
  • twenty journal entries
  • thirteen sessions of exercising

i wrote about…

…physical factors, really–I wrote about the baseline for my journey in exercise, the workout I’m comfortable doing, and I shared two weigh-ins that aren’t very different. I cooked a crazy hot meal for New Year’s Day; I read twelve books; I waxed on best mornings and the spiritual practice of study. And of course, I marked the passage of time and explained the weird way I do so in regards to this project.

goals and projections for february…

body: exercise more frequently, intentionally, and diversely. stop eating fun garbage.
spirit: develop a daily intercessory prayer routine; twenty sessions on 2 Corinthians
heart: buy no books, still (which is harder than it seems)
community: run DND twice; attend a couple local governing meetings
world: plot the garden out, and order seeds
mind: read six books, even if one is Les Miserables (which is currently on the bedside table!); finish course work for D.Min project.
soul: use pomodoro blocker during the work day; journal twenty times; blog sixteen times.

Is it weird to put “I’m going to blog more?” on a blog post? Too late!

it is going to snow

credit: Alain Audet, from here.

I grew up outside of Saint Louis, Missouri, and we had snow in the winter. Maybe not a lot, but some, and I cannot remember a winter without it.

I moved to Texas in 2007, and there were maybe three instances of meaningful snow. (There was also the time TCU cancelled classes for two days because of an eighth of an inch of snow, but that’s not to be discussed on this blog, surely.)

I am now in Kansas. We are expecting five to eight inches. I am very excited because I love snow. I am very excited, too, because it is to happen tonight, the last night of 2020, and into the morning of the first night of 2021.

This is not a blog about New Year’s Resolutions. This is a blog that begins, formally, on the first of January because I have benchmarks and goalposts in this continual work of transformation–I want to work toward something–and I am so very excited to start the new year.

I have recently talked resolutions with a few friends, and none of them do New Year’s Resolutions. To be honest, I don’t officially, either–I take inventory, alter course, and keep aiming for the next right thing. I love calendars and goal tracking–tonight’s my jam, y’all! It’s okay to start over again and again and again, so long as there’s progress. I realize it means it’s not a clean restart–there’s always nuance.

Today is a simple day. I will be taking care of some work matters that must be addressed. I’ll be reading for class in a few weeks, and then making dinner. Tonight, I have no idea what we’re going to do until midnight, because The Kid has decided she’s going to try to stay up. At some point, I will be archiving my orange book and blessing the 2021’s Blue Book. And I am going to watch the snow fall. I am so ready, I hope it does not get blown off course.

Welcome to arthur the lesser, though we begin in earnest tomorrow. Bundle up!