Weddings

You’re getting married. Congratulations! May I suggest you hire a professional to officiate your wedding?

Here’s what you get with a professional, in my case, an ordained minister who really likes it when two people get married:

  1. Pre-Marital Counseling. You’ve heard it’s terrible, a time-eater, an antiquated practice. Perhaps you’ve heard that, statistically, it does nothing–that those who do pre-marital counseling are just as likely to divorce as those who don’t.

    Wrong! It helps, it really does. Pre-marital counseling helps cultivate insight and understanding, two things that naturally grow in meaningful, intentional relationships; pre-marital counseling is fertilizer on one’s seedlings.

    (Yes, I know–pre-marital counseling is crap, har har har.)
  2. Years of Experience. I’ve seen it all in thirteen years of doing this. High church weddings, with a huge wedding party and processional. Low church weddings, with blue jeans and button-ups after a regular Sunday worship service. Parks, wineries, backyards, and costume parties. Interfaith and interdenominational; religious and non-religious*; heteronormative and queer as hell.

    *In my practice, a wedding is an act of worship, a covenant and promise made in the presence of God and community. I will, inevitably, say some prayers and use religious language. I will, inevitably, talk about Jesus Christ, as I’m really rather quite fond of him–but I do not make altar calls, or assail people with religion.
  3. Flexibility and Adaptability. Do you know what will not go to plan, no matter how meticulously you prepare for it? You are correct, your wedding! From a drunken aunt snarking before the ceremony to the unity candle not lighting (which is not, in fact, as ominous as it sounds) to a groomsman passing out because he locked his knees, to whatever else might get thrown at you–you need someone who can improvise.

    Before I was called into ministry, I was a professional emcee and comedian. I know how to read a room, I know how to vamp, I know how to sound like I know what I’m talking about when making stuff up on the spot. You need an officiant who is flexible and adaptable, to help guide y’all through your day, because you’ll have more than enough on your plates.

Drop me a line for more information, and going rates.