For a third time… it might snow.

Today is February 1, 2022, and for the last month, I’ve been thinking a lot about the work of transformation but thinking, no matter how much I love it, doesn’t really do much. It does some, but not much.

But now it’s been a month and I’ve posted nothing, but weirdly, thinking about blogging a lot does not necessarily make one a blogger. I’m as shocked as you are by this. Progress, not perfection. But since it’s a Tuesday, and the beginning of the month, here’s a post–

Weight as of February 1, 2022: 239.4 pounds, weighing in this morning.

Totally reasonable health goals for February, 2022:

  • I want to exercise ten times this month.
  • I want to refrain from eating after dinner this month.
  • I want to lose five pounds this month, recognizing weight fluctuates within three pounds.
  • I want to log at least 12,000 steps on at least ten different days.

We’ll see what happens–especially with a snow day possibly looming.

I also feel I should write about this pretty consistently, and provide the clearest explanation possible: I am not making value judgments for or about anyone based on their size or weight, not even myself. I believe that my low level of activity and poor choices about diet and exercise can and should be rectified, and I am sharing those results here for the sake of accountability, and because I’m so sick of hearing about Wordle and our collapsing democracy. Whether I succeed in these or other goals, or not, does not make me a good or a bad person. It makes me a person who is setting goals and seeking to meet them.

it might snow again

Last year–in one of the few posts I made, and the even fewer I kept up on this nearly defunct site–I began things by celebrating the end of a year while expecting five to eight inches of snow! What a neat and serene, blank page kind of way to kick things off. I even used this royalty-free picture that I kind of still love:

credit: Alain Audet, from here.

It is not going to snow tonight. It only recently became cold, and even now, it’s downright balmy for Kansas in December, cresting up into the fifties. It’s a completely different world–a breaking world, perhaps. A broken world, perhaps. An updated forecast, however, suggests we might get a little on New Year’s Day. Perhaps we will. Perhaps we won’t.

2021 was an incredible year, and I accomplished just a few of the twenty-one goals I set for 2021. (Should I have gone for 22 in 2022? Maybe I did.) Here’s where I was successful: I read from a diverse list, I took classes for my doctor of ministry, I developed a rhythm of prayer, I launched a really simple website for my professional endeavors, and I grew in my awareness and practices of responsibility and generosity, financially.

Here’s a few ways I came up short: I gained an average of two pounds every month this year–everything I lost in 2019, I have found (sometimes with a vengeance!) in 2021. I didn’t really connect with neighbors or friends–what an optimist I was at the end of 2020, like we’d get our act together in this pandemic!; I did not take two retreats; I did not develop (magically) an outdoor hobby.

In most ways I grew: I did not read 80 books in 2021, but I did read 63. I did not journal five times a week, but I do journal pretty consistently, missing the random day. I showed up for friends in creative ways. I did not complete my study of 2 Corinthians and then circle back with a fourth source in 1 Corinthians, but not for a lack of trying. And, I’m not even halfway through, and that’s with nearly 200 of 365 days with dedicated study!

I think this year was about perspective and right-sizing. Right-sizing, for those of you not inaugurated to the terminology of recovery communities, suggests that when a person is “right-sized,” s/he is neither too big nor too small for the space they inhabit.

I do have some nutso goals this year. I know I’m not going to scratch the surface on some of them–but I’m okay now working out four times a week as a stretch goal, not six; some of my goals are things I do anyhow because I love them, like improv and Dungeons & Dragons with my ridiculous clergy group. And some are reminders to me that it may or may not snow, it may or may not be a new year, it may or may not be a good day–just turn the page, and keep going.

Happy New Year. Don’t look 2022 right in the eyes, or it’ll charge!!